The Power of Prayer

I came home Friday afternoon, and Facebook & Twitter were full of nothing but references to the events in Connecticut. I rarely watch the news.  Social media lets me know when there is something big going on.  The news is depressing.  Evil in this world is depressing.  And most media outlets sensationalize it. 

I maintain my life as a drama free zone.

What’s really important?

And not to diminish the tragedy and lost lives, because truly words cannot describe how horrible it is.  I mean that.  But the reaction seemed a little over the top in proportion to what happened.  And I feel sad saying that because shootings like this happen way too regularly.  Not always with little kids, and not always on this large a scale, but it happens too often.  And my Facebook newsfeed is seriously full of almost nothing but statements related to the event. Pray for everyone involved. Occasionally something about gun control laws.  But a lot of “pray for” statuses and pics.

I am in favor of prayer.  Prayer rocks.

Why aren’t we constantly in prayer? Why is my newsfeed not constantly flooded with pictures of candles or, better yet, puppies & kitties praying? Maybe we are all constantly in prayer. I suspect – based on my own personal experience and distractions – that this is not the case, though.

Before today’s stuff happened, I had my own prayer journey this week.

When we last talked, I had finally taken some action on the latest whisperings from God. He has seen fit recently to plant a phrase in my head from time to time. Different phrases at different times, and when I can’t shake it after a few days I usually realize it’s probably real and I should do something about it. 

This time a friend needed prayer.  And just as quickly, I needed it back.  We agreed to pray for each other.  And not in a “I’m going to re-tweet this picture” kind of way, we really mean it.

Many of you have figured out and / or heard I suffered a major wipeout last week, causing multiple bruises down one side of my body. A couple days later, I burned my hand pretty badly. What only a select few were aware of, though, is that I had to go through this past week without antihistamines.  Periodically my doc retests me to see if the various and sundry treatments are working – shots, namely – and if adjustments need to be made. To get a true read on the test results, I have to spend five days detoxing from that which keeps me from breaking out in hives on a regular basis.  In the past, by day two or three I have been itching uncontrollably.  Even the palms of my hands and the soles of my feet itch.  I come close to losing my mind trying not to scratch my skin off.  Try getting anything constructive done while you’re in that state.

This week I made it through relatively unscathed.  A little twinge here and there, but nothing, and I mean nothing like in the past.

I had asked for prayers for calmness. And calmness I got. I felt like I was wrapped in a big fleece blanket hug from God all week. I floated through the week. It was almost surreal.

What an awesome, amazing, divine surprise.

God. And prayer. Those are my only explanations for how I got through this week.

And it’s how I will continue to get through every week, every day, every moment.

Peace

Ahhhh … peace.

Ms. Genius over here finally sought out a second opinion on the subject of these little whisperings from God that have been going on – the latest episode anyway – for a couple of weeks.  I usually feel like I’ve lost my mind on these things.  I worry that I’ve invented thoughts in my own head and am speaking and dictating more than I’m listening. 

How many times do we get a song stuck in our heads and go all OCD with it.  Does it mean something, or does it not mean something?  Does it just have a good beat & we can dance to it?

But not this time. 

I was right on the money.  Nothing uber dramatic.  Well, completely & totally God-inspired, but yeah.  It was just a general “oh oh we need each other” (thank you, Matt Hammitt) kind of thing.  Which is kind of what I thought, but I was too busy telling God he was either wrong or a comedian to do anything about it.

And all is right with the world. 

Oh yeah, I may have soapboxed a few things along the way.  Hey, I have opinions.

With my conservative religious upbringing, burning bushes are purely an Old Testament thing. We don’t really expect God to talk to us via flaming hedges these days.  Btw, I have promised to make a phone call immediately should the landscaping burst into flames and start speaking.   I wonder if tweeting the pope would suffice …

And speaking of flames, my klutziness continues.  I burned my hand on the oven. Second degree.  Kind of glad I wasn’t scheduled to play this week.  Ugh.  I might need someone to pack me in bubble wrap.  This is getting kind of ridiculous. 

Words and nudges from God.  I’m starting to get better at heeding them sooner rather than later.  I have a long way to go.  Don’t we all.  Having that second opinion helps.  As does a go-to second opinion provider who, to date and to my face anyway, has not called me insane.

I also have to think back and wonder how many times I haven’t recognized God’s leading or chose not to believe it, and what could have been if I had done something different.  Not regret, just a “how many times do I have to see that he fixes everything before I shorten that discernment process and act” kind of observation.

He fixes everything.  Not necessarily how we expect, but he fixes everything.  Always.

Deer or Pavement

Sometimes God hits you with a deer in the car door.  Sometimes he hits you with the pavement.

As I write this, I am arranged carefully on a variety of ice packs.  I’ve been experiencing issues mastering the art of walking. 

So whatever it was I started writing about yesterday … whatever point I was trying to make … I don’t really remember.  It’s a good thing I got a decent workout in yesterday, because today is a day off for sure.  And who really needs a soapbox anyway.

I did have a thing on my agenda today requiring manual labor.  No excuses … I did it anyway.  Against my better judgment.  I think I survived relatively unscathed.  Yay, another item off my to do list.  Onward to more secret elfin magic missions.  But first more rest & ice & all that good stuff.

So God has been whispering this phrase to me for a couple of weeks.  As is my custom, I have been in denial and telling him he’s wrong and must be joking.  And then today it hit me.  (Ha!)  I guess that even if I decide to acknowledge this particular little revelation as true, I’m not really sure what to do about it.  I guess I could ask.  (!!!)  Hello.  Duh.  

For as much as some people seem to think I’m a super-genius or full of inspirationalness or something, I would be wise to heed my own advice at times.

I don’t come up with inspiration and wisdom by ignoring what God and people are saying.  I don’t keep calm and carry on just by conjuring it up myself.  Everything is connected, and I don’t believe in coincidence.

So I’m just gonna breathe here for a minute.  And stop worrying about being right or making a point or explaining anything.  I’ll just go back to listening …

Inciting Panic

I’ve been struggling with what to write this week.  I suppose because some of the thoughts in my head are not suitable for public consumption.  If they were suitable, I’d be happy to share them, but sometimes … well sometimes I need to practice that grace thing and try to learn.

Occasionally I just need to go drink coffee and not be around people.

I feel like I have stepped into another dimension.  And it’s not even the Twilight Zone.  Oh the Twilight Zone is calling to me … I can still hear it … I’m just a step or two away at the moment.  And the phrase it’s whispering to me this week is most interesting.

So.  Labels.  And assumptions still.  And this psychological study I somehow find myself conducting.

My labels of “strong and independent” & “dependable and reliable” are making me weary lately.  I have come by those labels naturally over many years.  When you don’t have anyone knocking down the door to take care of things for you … you figure it out yourself.  When you ask for help & don’t get it … you figure it out yourself.  When others offer to help … and then you ask … and then they let you down … you figure it out yourself.

I don’t mean to be Wendy Whiner here, just observing what appears to be a theme all-of-a-sudden just lately.

I lift my eyes unto the hills … where does my help come from …  

Yeah, that’s pretty much it.  I count on God.  He rocks.  Always.  And as the saying goes … he doesn’t give us more than we can handle, but I wish he didn’t think so much of me sometimes. 

And I wish chivalry weren’t dead.  I’m always delighted when someone offers to carry heavy things for me.  So I guess it’s not completely dead. 

Have you ever asked a question and got an answer back to a completely different question?  And it opened up a whole can of worms? 

Lest you think there are squirrels running rampant across this page, let me explain.  I was looking for help with something recently.  Looking for a little chivalry I suppose.  And before I could even get to the “would you please” part … well … I think I got a can of worms.  An open can.

There I go again, inciting panic.  Maybe I come by that naturally too.  I have been referred to as “Trouble” more than once.  J

Here, let me take care of that for you.

Petri Dishes and Patience

I don’t like being sick and having to slow down.

I may be a strong, independent woman, but my immune system is not aware of this fact.  So every now & again I have to give in and go get antibiotics.  I’m all over the natural and nutritional remedies, but sometimes they aren’t enough for my unique case.

I am a festering petri dish of cold and sinus germs at the moment. 

And don’t forget unique.

Now that I have meds, give me about 24 hours, and I’ll be back to my usual Tigger-like self.  I have actually taken long hardcore naps the last couple of days.  I really don’t nap much anymore.  I’m healthy enough I don’t need to.  Yay.

So my lesson in patience continues.  I’m thinking it’s a lifelong lesson.  Decades at the very least.

God actually has been whispering to me on one of my patience issues.  He says he’s got it, it’ll be fine, it’s gonna turn out like he said, I just need to wait.  OK, fine.  I’m not seeing it, but ok ...

I try to rely on him for when to speak and when to shut up and wait.  Really I do.  Those of you who know me well know how difficult it is for me to shut up.  There are so many words flying around in my head that sometimes they just need to escape.  Picture an insolent child stomping her foot and clenching her fists, though.  And you wonder why I work out. 

J

I think it’s time for more meds … and relaxation, whatever that is … and sleep …

Free

I love being free.

I had lunch today with a friend and former coworker who is still in Corporate America.  Corporate America is still much the same as when I left. 

Whenever I talk work with friends and family still doing the corporate thing, I feel like …

Praise God I’m not there anymore.

And not today so much, but sometimes the stories make me think … well, I look at people stressed out and so wrapped up in corporate shenanigans … and I’m reminded that I was there once, in that exact place in my life.  I didn’t realize how easy the choice really was to do something different. 

Does it take some risk and stepping out on faith?  Sure.  So do a lot of things worth having in this life.

I guess I’ve taken on some of the traits of one of my sounding boards who – usually when I’m rambling while looking for an answer to something or another – gives me The Look … which says, in so many words, “Really?” … “Did you hear what you just said?” … “Stop thinking so much.” … “It will all work out, it always does.” … “You know what you should do, so go do it.”

J

Sometimes I just need to be told.  Don’t we all.

Today was good.  Reinforcement that I’m on the right path.

We all have a lot more choices than we think.  Some get that and some don’t.  And some just like to complain.  Or so it seems.  I prefer positive attention over negative attention and sympathy, though.

Interestingly, I read an article this week that says entrepreneurs tend to be healthier than non-entrepreneurs.  Amen.

Stepping away and having some perspective rocks.

Assumptions

Just assumptions tonight. 

I’ve had a couple weeks of craziness and travel and craziness and such.

Assumptions.  We all operate within the world of our own assumptions.  But what about when you realize people have made assumptions about you that aren’t quite on the mark?  It seems to be a theme just recently. 

Let’s see …

Eating habits.  Some people seem to think I’ve been on a liquid diet of things that don’t taste good for the last year-and-a-half?  Um no, I eat “real” food every day.  And the protein shakes I drink taste good.  An advocate of a certain points-counting program wrinkled their nose up at me the other day and said, “Don’t you have to keep drinking those shakes?”  Well, yeah, I get to keep drinking those shakes.  J

Math.  And economics.  Some people just don’t understand.  Or maybe don’t want to.

80% nutrition, 20% exercise.  I am the poster child for this.  How many times have I heard, “I just need to exercise more.”  Well, yeah, everyone should exercise.  And for those who think I work out like a beast for hours … do you know my whole story?  I have physical / medical limitations that mean it’s pretty much workout-light for Jenn. 

What I want and what I need.  (To quote Daughtry.)  Sometimes even I don’t know what that is.  And when I do know and I say it … there are still no guarantees.  And when I do know and I don’t say it or don’t say it clearly … then it’s a real circus around here in this space called my life.

Right now I’ve got a little bit of everything going on, so let me just lay down across that last paragraph, and we’ll have a pretty good representation of my current askewness.

By the way, spell-check would like to suggest “sameness” and “alkenes” as substitutes for the word “askewness”.  Feel free to discuss the deeper meaning.

I don’t want to be negative at all here, because … as you might have figured out … I’m a big advocate of pray about it and follow God’s leading as best you can.

I’m also not much of a rules person, so, yeah, refer to previous guidance about praying about it …

And for anyone who thinks they know how I feel … or how I should feel … um, you might be wrong.  Just sayin’.  J