Free At Last: And Wait Some More

The more things change the more they stay the same?

This time of year often reminds me of how little has changed. Like ever.

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.

(Ecclesiastes 1:9)

Do you have milestone dates that remind you of things?

Things that have happened.

Things that have not happened.

Things you have.

Things you don’t have.

Things you are.

Things you are not.

A holiday, a birthday, an anniversary of something perhaps. Maybe a season.

I have been through a year of changes and yet I find myself feeling like I’m on the proverbial hamster wheel. Maybe we painted it a different color, but it still goes around and around and around, back to the same familiar place.

I suppose some hamsters would find comfort and contentment in that familiarity.

Me? I’m bored.

As your local resident change agent, I try to do something different when I sense I'm beating my head against a wall. You know, that brick one I keep staring at.

Today, for example, after throwing down some stellar improv poetry in response to a photo of a curious statue of the Virgin Mary sent by a friend, I went in search of an empanada. I’ve been thinking of empanadas on and off for days. Why, what have you been thinking about?

They were delicious. The empanadas and my words.

And lest I offend loved ones of some faith traditions, those particular words are available only privately by request.

I’ve since set up shop at a Starbucks with my venti unsweet iced green tea. And it hit me. Regarding the current political controversy about who uses which bathroom, do you want to know the biggest fallout from this whole situation? Other than we have spent waaaayyy too much time as a nation discussing our potty habits. I believe that all humans are endowed with the unalienable right to, um, relieve themselves under the most sanitary conditions possible. That may be a hole in the ground in some areas, God bless y'all, but in most places you’ll find me, this means indoor plumbing. I don’t care what gender you consider yourself, everyone needs to go. Use the stall next to me at Target, I don’t care.

There’s a problem, though.

The transgender bathroom controversy has resulted in most Starbucks locations converting their one-seater restrooms to unisex. Now, I’ve been in my share of gross ladies rooms, but as a general rule … well. Um. Here’s the thing.

Men, would you please freaking aim.

Ew.

Ugh.

If I suddenly keel over, have the medics wear hazmat suits and make sure I’m tested for cooties and infectious diseases.

Also, LMH doesn’t accept my insurance, so THE Ohio State University, please.

Anyway.

In my ongoing quest to stimulate creative thought and alleviate boredom, I had arts and crafts time today.

Okay, really I was kinesio taping myself. A person who shall remain unnamed thinks the paper backing looks like it belongs on feminine products. I say “whatever” and throw them at said person.

For someone who is sooooo totally not a fan of bathroom humor, I seem to be on a roll today. And speaking of rolls. Ha. I’m a girl who gets things done. I just am. Project manager. Production assistant. Engineer. Pragmatic individual. So if I note a bathroom needs restocked and I have the means to take care of such a deficiency on a shopping trip I was taking anyway, cool. But if I get locked out of that bathroom … well … honestly I’m about to burn this thing in effigy.