Wednesday, December 2, 2015


What do you need rescuing from?

Sorry for ending a sentence with a preposition, but “from what do you require rescue” sounds like one should be asking with a pinkie in the air a la how Thomas Jefferson drinks his tea. Some would say I am in fact that highfalutin. I am also drinking chai tea as I write.

Chai. The tea, not the latte.

Are we even our own best judge of “that from which we require rescue”?

Depending on your perspective, there may be a bazillion things from which you need rescued daily. Minor annoyances to some, the end of the world to others. I’ve seen you posting about them on Facebook. Perhaps some of us need rescuing from excessive posting of memes, oversharing of articles, and oversharing of said annoyances.

It’s probably our attitudes and perspectives that really need rescuing.

Today I needed rescuing from the schizophrenic weather. Well, not truly rescued I suppose. I kept checking my weather app trying to decide whether my planned three mile walk was going to happen. Rain expected to move in at 1:00pm, 8:00pm, 5:30pm, 2:45pm. Geez, make up your mind. I finally went for it and experienced blue sky, sun, completely overcast sky, sprinkles, partial blue sky, light rain, blue sky, ominous dark clouds, fast moving clouds, half blue sky, sprinkles, and more clouds. All in that order. In the course of about an hour.

No, I did not take pics today. I was trying to keep the phone dry and hoof it through my workout before real rain began. Which it did after I was safely inside. It lasted for about ten minutes.

I did a similar walk, albeit in drier weather, last week on Black Friday. I skipped all shopping that day. I have lost my ability to care about the shopping. I think stretching the festivities into a multi-day extravaganza including Thanksgiving and middle of the night insanity has crossed the line into, well, insanity. You want me to lose that much sleep for a deal on stuff? It’s just stuff. You want me to spend that much brain power figuring out where I should be when for what deal? I’m so confused. It’s just stuff. You want me to leave the Thanksgiving leftovers in the fridge and go stand in line for stuff? Huh?

Keep your stuff.

Moving of the Ohio State – Michigan game to the Saturday after Thanksgiving in recent years has an influence as well. There is much party prep to be done. Shopping can wait.

As I was saying, I chose mental and physical health over competitive shopping and went for a walk. I was almost done with that third mile. Almost. I was on the faster moving road between the two neighborhoods. I pull one earbud out on this stretch so I can hear traffic coming down the road. Some of those speed demons like to fly low. And I don’t want to be anyone’s ten points.

I heard someone coming from behind me. No big deal. I walk against traffic, so I just made sure I wasn’t wandering from the edge of the pavement. I heard the vehicle slow down a little. “Oh, that’s nice of them,” I thought, “Thank you.”

My gratitude was perhaps premature. Because. Because. What happened next …

This dude in a plain white construction van had his window down and whistled at me! And then kept on driving.

I didn’t get a look at the guy. I didn’t get a plate because he was too far away by the time I finished checking for markings or a company name.

Thanks, I guess? Apparently the mashed potatoes and gravy didn’t go straight to my behind? Should I be flattered? Honestly I was kind of creeped out. I work out for my own health, not to be catcalled by construction guys in my own safe, semi-rural little corner of the world.

A couple days later I verified my crazy bandmate, who owns a similar van, was nowhere in the vicinity. “I would have stopped and talked to you,” he said. I thought so.

I was advised by law enforcement professionals to carry mace. I’m told Wally World carries a nice keychain version. And I do know where to find a good concealed carry class. I have to ask, though. Has it come to this? Do I need to be rescued pretty much two steps outside my front door?

A house has been under construction on the next street over. The weather has been blessedly mild this fall, a good time to frame things up so inside work can happen through the winter. On Monday this week I took my usual three mile walking route, and you will never guess what I saw parked by that house! Go ahead, guess!

A plain white construction van!

The same one that creeped me out on Friday? Dunno. But I zoomed in and took pics of the plates. I’ll rescue my own danged self if I have to. Don’t mess with me. Perhaps the driver saw me snapping photos, because a short time later a plain white construction van passed me by in the same spot as before, except this time he didn’t slow down or roll the window down.

Plates blurred to protect the innocent or guilty. Not sure which.

Sometimes we need rescuing from people in plain white vans. Sometimes we need rescuing just from the routine meanie poopoo heads of life. Sometimes there are users and abusers, either intentional or oblivious. Sometimes we need rescuing from ourselves along with an attitude adjustment.

My church wrapped up a sermon series on Jonah this past Sunday. It’s worth a reread of the book if you haven’t looked at it lately. Most people are familiar with the story. God tells Jonah to go preach to the people of Nineveh. Oh, there’s a city that’s been in the news this year. It would have been an equally hostile environment in biblical times. Jonah says, “Ha! You’re out of your mind,” and runs away, but God swallows him up in a giant fish and vomits him up on the shore and he ends up in Nineveh anyway.

Many would say that God sent the whale to punish Jonah for his disobedience. But – as pointed out in Sunday’s sermon – have you considered that God sent the whale to rescue Jonah? From himself? From his disobedience? From his attitude? (Oh go read chapter 4. Go. Do it.)

If you really, truly mean “thy will be done” when you say it … perhaps your rescue from the wrong path will look a little weird. Or a lot weird. Or somewhere in between. Or like being vomited up by a big whale.

Keep looking up.

For more on “Rescue” from my writing partners, see Sue Bowles at and Leisa Herren at

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